she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
