You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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