Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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