May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I cut my penus on the lid.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i think i just lost a toe
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