I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
