I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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