Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize