I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
