Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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