ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
