road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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