At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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