I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
