Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
