Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
