he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
