I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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