I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
one might say we're banned from that church
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
