the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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