We're facebook friends in real life
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize