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return my video game
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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