She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I want her autograph on my taint
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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