So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I had to cum in my sink.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize