You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
