What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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