It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
