The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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