Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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