Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
