Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize