the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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