As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
