the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
