Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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