Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
