I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize