You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
