Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
