i just wanna soil my oats bro
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
