I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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