So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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