everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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