we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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