i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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