What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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