If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize