Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
