I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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