Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize