Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
