Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
