he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We just shotgunned beers for America
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
