I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
