So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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