I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
