My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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